the big what if's

These 2 months have been so full of long weekends. It's like every holiday or non-working day fell on a Friday or a Monday. And these short stints at an actual holiday have opened my eyes as to just how much I dislike my job and the environment and conditions under which I work. Not the people, my workmates are nice, and they are doing their best to cope under the circumstances [targets that are too high to meet, lorries backfiring every day - we transport fertilizer to farmers, rain and impassable roads, farmers complaining here even when the fault is clearly not with our office et al], so I like my workmates. The only thing that keeps me going is that in two months school will be open again and it will be back to basking in the sun all day and surfing for free and meeting friends. So for now I have a better tomorrow to look forward to. For now.

But lately Ive gotten to thinking, what happens when there is no brighter future? What would I do if this was it, if this was my calling in life, my niche, my job? What if I was one of my workmates, [you know, 20 years and Im still gonna be at the exact same place]? These things just cant seem to get out of my mind. And now Im continually praying that when Im done with school, I at least get a job I actually like. To me the hours wont really matter [coz I dont have much of a social life anyways so even if I had the time...], and the pay matters yes but not as much as job satisfaction. I just want a job I look forward to on Mondays, a job Im not in a hurry to get away from at 4 on Friday, and most importantly, a job where I work in the back-ends with no nosy bosses looking over my shoulders asking why the email Im sending on company time is not work-related [coz there's gonna be alot of those :)]. I want a job where my performance record will be let to speak for itself, where they wont want to know why I was six minutes late in the morning so long as I meet all my deadlines, and they wont be asking me to follow their methods if I have my own that arent illegal but get things done. If there will be no specific dress-code at the company it will be nice too - I hate dressing up. I dont want to be in the spotlight or dealing direcly with people, unless Im the CEO [in which case all my misgivings about whatever job it will be become moot]. Also one that involves a lot of travelling. And if it's at one of them Fortune 500 firms, I wont complain. If the company happens to be Google then "let Thy will be done on earth.." I havent narrowed it down to anything specific yet, but this much I know - I do NOT want to be a doctor. Or a teacher or an insurance salesman!

If only wishes were horses and beggars actually rode...
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