champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

So when I was about 10 I was at a friend's place when I heard his mom ask him "Will you please do me that favor?", and I didn't know what a favor was so I asked. His mom wanted him to heat water for her, he knew that from before I got there, so he explained to me that a favor was when someone asks you to heat water for them, and I believed it. Turns out that was not entirely correct. Anyway, I started asking for favors whenever I wanted hot water to shower. But more importantly, thus started what was going to be a long culture of me learning things from my friends without knowing I was learning them.

That was a while back, and today, it's a while plus one more year. If I'm a significantly smarter person now than I was back then, and I am, it's because of all the amazing people I've met in my journey. People who've had an effect on me without even knowing that they were having it.

I had a friend in high school who we later ended up going to university with that I think is one of the most brilliant minds we have in our country right now. Remember that time I said I wanted to be able to say when I'm 90 that yes I made some mistakes but I was never afraid to take a risk? This guy has been living that mantra all his life. He's the guy that started an online business with part of his uni loan when we were still in school. He registered about 4 companies by the time we were in the 3rd year. When those fell under, he picked up his pieces and started one of our very first investment clubs, complete with investor proposals. When we cleared school and went our separate ways he started trading fish, because he saw a need and he figured out how to get supply to fill it out. He's been involved in countless ventures, and any lesser person would by now have given up, but not this guy. He just keeps learning and keeps on getting up the next day to try something else. I've learned from him that it's never so bad it won't be better tomorrow.

There's another friend of mine I grew up with. He's younger than me, so by the time he was starting high school, I was on my way out. But because our families were friends and stuff I've kept tabs with what's happening in his life. He's the guy that came second in the entire province in the final exam. And this despite having participated in all the extra curricular activities that count at the same time he was studying. Actuarial science is one of the harder courses to get into - he did. And he aced it. And halfway through, thought he wanted to be a pilot instead, and went and did those tests, and aced them. He's now a pilot with a degree in actuarial science. I don't know a single thing he's ever tried that he didn't succeed at. And yet you wouldn't be able to tell it relating with him. A lot of times I have to blow his trumpet because I know he won't do it himself and his story is too inspiring not to tell. I've learned from him that no one is ever too great to be humble.

There's another friend from university who I used to think had self esteem issues. I used to think she was the kind of person that would crumble and self destruct were she to be afflicted with adversity. Well, adversity did afflict her. Being a goody-two-shoes, things happened and she ended up pregnant. Something that's frowned upon in certain circles. And the baby daddy refused by implication to claim ownership. So she stepped up. He wanted her but didn't want the baby. I didn't think she had it in her, but she made the tough call. She let him go. She decided it was better to be alone and be happy than be hitched and be sad. And she's thriving now, generally winning at life. I've learned that from her. No one is ever too important to be dispensed with if they get in the way of your happiness.

Which brings me to my current friend. My best, friend. The person I've spent more time with than with anyone else since I was old enough to know things. I'm a difficult person to be with. I'm headstrong. I'm extremely loud and opinionated, and well spoken to complete the cycle. I think I know everything, and most times I actually do. I don't care about clothes or fashion or how I look. I value creature comforts over savings. I have a very quick temper - I snap quickly, but then I also calm down almost immediately. Because of how I grew up, I've become and expert at hurting people using words. I don't care for things that won't physically touch my life, including, but not limited to, my country and its leaders. She's my complete opposite. And yet she stays. She takes it all. Takes ME all. She has the biggest heart I know outside of my mother. And from her, I've learnt compromise.

These people are all a part of me. They are part of my past, my present, and my future. I embody within me the things I have learnt from them. Every day I get up in the morning I live the impact they have had on my life. And today, more than any other day, I am grateful I met these people, and many others (against whom I had the chance to sharpen now razor-sharp wit). They say children learn what they live. They are right. I learned what I lived. And I'm a better person for having known every one of the people I know. So as I celebrate my birthday, they are on my mind. And I can only hope that I get a chance to have as profound an impact on other people around me as they have had on me.

END

weeks go by like days

So I've realized that I only blog when I have something to complain about. When everything is not going as it should be. Then somewhere in there sneak in some of the good things as side notes. And from talking to a friend of a friend's who wants to write a book, I find I am not alone in this. Writer's block tends more often than not to be a period of prosperity and happiness. Coincidence? Anyway, that really doesn't sound right. The Bible says in everything to give thanks, for this is the will of Lord concerning you. So I wanna change that this year. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to my glory days of three years ago. This is my version of a new year's resolution.

I've decided this year to get real hobbies. It's really easy when you live in a foreign country where you don't know anyone and they're not necessarily falling over themselves to get close to you, to fall into a pattern where you just sit and watch TV and go to gym and go to the mall. And realize six months later that all you've done is watch six months go by. And that you stopped going to gym at month 2. I don't want any of that anymore. I don't want to just hang around. I started already towards the end of last year with photography, I wanna get better at that. The other thing I'm thinking of getting into is music. I've always loved listening to it, why not do something with that? Why not learn what DJs do when they do their thing? So I'd like to start on that as well.

Speaking of music, I used to play piano when I was in high school. Those days I used to be able to teach myself things quite effectively. I wonder what changed - whether I got less smart or got more impatient. Because I've tried with guitar and I haven't made much progress. Shem! But I wanna start again. For the second time, and hopefully there won't be a third. I was walking through a music store last week and came across these really cool piano replacements that are electronic but have 88 keys which are weighted so it really feels exactly like a normal piano, and I started getting ideas. Maybe I could buy one. Then I'd be able to start playing piano again. But I've already got a guitar. And Napoleon says to start with the tools we have at hand. So I think that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm still on the fence with swimming lessons. I know they've got it at the gym and probably all I'd have to do would be to buy a swimming costume, but I just can't seem to get over something in my mind. Same goes for dancing, which is starting to become less and less of a issue the older I get. So I'm gonna let those be a little bit.

I told myself late last year that I was gonna try and build meaningful relationships around me, but that seems much easier said than done. And there's too many other factors at play there, I think. So I'm staying off that. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'll find a way to get over it.

The biggest lesson I think people learn as they get older, Steve certainly did, is that time's gonna pass by, whether you do something or not. So if I were to summarize everything I'd like to do this year in one sentence, it's that I'd like to do something with this time I have been given. I see myself getting closer to my partner. I see myself getting better at guitar, and photography, and music. I see myself reading all the books in my 700-strong iBooks library. I see myself watching the entire West Wing all over again. I see myself exceeding further at work. I see myself buying a house, or at least getting significantly closer to it. I see myself blogging more frequently. And travelling. Ya, I definitely see myself travelling.

END