you only live twice

So I heard about this story last week where some guy had lived in Naivasha for like 30 years. Apparently when at the end of Jan their place erupted, he was attacked, and by people who used to be his neighbors. I dint get exactly how, but at the time he wasn't at his place. He'd bought a ka-plot and built a house and used to live there with his family and a few relatives. So wherever he was, he lay down and pretended as though he was dead, and that was how he survived, but on waking up the entire area to his house was like cordoned off so he couldn't go there. So for a few days he was in limbo wondering what happened to his folks, coz no one around was spilling. He even started looking for them in the mortuary, and one day he did find them. Apparently they'd all been burned up inside his house. All of them, nine children BTW. No one survived, except now him. He just didn't know where to start. To cry over lost family, find a place to stay, or arrange how to transport them back home for burial. And as fate would have it, that was also the time roads were murder, so even if he'd had a car, not to say he did, he wouldn't have been able to go back. And for obvious reasons there was no way he was staying in Naivasha. So he just moved to the police station and prayed. I hear stories like that and all over again it becomes real. Sometimes I cannot understand people when they vilify a whole tribe just because two of its members did something bad, but when something like that happens to you Im guessing it's pretty hard to play who-did-what-and-who-didn't-do. I don't know what I'd think were that me. I was being told by a counsellor friend of mine about marriages that broke after the violence, simply because the spouse was from the other tribe. I'm thinking if the effects of the violence were deep enough to destroy as strong a bond as marriage, what chance do the others stand? The more flimsy ones like just neighbors, or even aquaintances, or people who just happen to go to the same church, or school. Or maybe the only thing binding two people together is the fact that they're both kenyans. I guess it's safe to assume that those relationships would be gone with the wind, just like that. Anyways, our guy's prayers got answered and the Red Cross provided him two vehicles to carry him and his departed home to Nyanza. And now he says he wouldn't go back to Naivasha for the world. 30 years of someone's life, erased just like that. In one day, and those who did it, without remorse. When you see his face as he says that... suffice it to say, if you have to gift of empathy you should probably stay off the News for a while.

Over the hols [just after Christmas] I rolled with our car [had I said that? It was like in a movie - everything just went slow-mo. But, God is good and I lived], and in the seconds just before we rolled I was thinking "It can't this easy. It shouldn't. We're supposed to have a choice, to be able to fight for our lives. Is this really how it all ends?" Well, turns out wishes aren't horses, and beggars don't ride, and we really don't have a say when the Grim Reaper comes a-knocking. I guess we then have nought but to live every day as though it were the last and hope for a better tomorrow. Or in the light of recent events maybe we should just settle for tomorrow, better or otherwise.

Life is supposed to be the greatest gift from God. Ian Fleming [he of the James Bond fame] says you only live twice: once when you're born and once when you stare death in the face.
END

the grammys, theirs and mine again

It's that time of the year again, when they release their list of the grammys and I b**ch about it coz I don't agree with their choices. And when they sc*** up, man they SC*** UP! What the hell's a jazz album doing winning album of the year?!?! Do that many people even know about the genre, let alone fans of it! Anyways, that's where our rift starts. If you ask me Kanye deserved that award this year. He's been side stepped long enough. I know that, and I don't even like hip hop [I do like him though]. And what the **** is all this fixation with Amy Winehouse? I mean, sure, she resurrected an almost-dead British singing style, and she sings from personal experience songs that have meaning. But surely! Grammy's propel someone to the international stage. One gets name recognition after winning a grammy, so Im thinking its about time the person behind the songs became a judging factor in deciding who wins and who doesn't. Coz really, do we want our kids to grow up and become like Amy Winehouse? Shooting up on crack to escape from all the terrible pain and sadness associated with her superstar lifestyle of wealth and fame -:) ? Apparently once one goes down that road there's usually no coming back. Just ask Britney, and Whitney [ok, Mary J Blige was a bit of a one-time occurrence, so don't ask her].

Anyways, my list [in the categories I give two ****s about]: [BTW, unlike last year, this year I had a lot to do, so I spent considerably less time listening to music, so there are gonna be some categories where I haven't even listened any of the albums, like best new artist]

Album of the year
Kanye West - Graduation [but if Daughtry had been nominated they'd have been my choice]

Record of the year
Beyonce - Irreplacable (most likely song from their list of nominations)

Song of the year
Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats (hands down!)

Best new artist
Amy Winehouse [she's the only one whose album I've listened to so]

Best female pop vocal performance
Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry [...and I don't understand how this song lost]

Best male pop vocal performance
agree with them - Justin T

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals
Plain White T's - Hey there Delilah

Best Pop Vocal Album
again agree with them - Amy Winehouse

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance
[haven't heard anything here - odd right, considering I live for rock]

Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals
Daughtry - It's Not Over [they were even 2007's best-selling artists, I mean, Hallooo!]

Best Hard Rock Performance
agree - Foo Fighters [they're the only ones I even like so, although I would have wanted Linkin Park to be nominated and to win]

Best Rock Song
Daughtry - It's Not Over [see above]

Best Rock Album
Daughtry - Daughtry [though Wilco was also pretty good, as were the Foo Fighters]

*********** After now there aren't very many categs I give a damn about*********
Best Female R&B Vocal Performance
agree - Alicia Keys

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance
[don't care, not a fan]

Best R&B Song
again, agree with Alicia Keys

Best Rap Solo Performance
agree with Kanye West

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
agree with Rihanna and Jay-Z [that song was off the hook!]

Best Rap Album
again Kanye West [remember I wanted it to win Album of the Year]

Maybe this year I should try and stay abreast with developments so Im not floating this time next year. But then again, I am getting pretty old for this stuff. Who knows? Maybe by then I'll have caught up with my age.

END

(my country), tears of thee

Three months ago, this country was gunning for double-digit economic growth. The shilling was at a near-10-year high against the dollar. Investors were super-confident, and we were on our way to the biggest IPO in East African history. Now there's a completely different story. What's changed? I wonder.

Well, there has been a general election, with catastrophic results. Man has risen against woman, tribe against tribe and friends against each other. I actually saw this on the news and my insides churned: a 75-year old woman stood outside her house as the youth burned it to the ground, and they could see her. They actually knew she was there, could see how old and helpless she was and it didn't faze them. They didn't even bat an eyelid. My God! Im pretty certain this was not the dream our post-colonialism heroes had for us, but then again they are from the tribe that started all this, so maybe I shouldn't underestimate them. :(

I took a drive across the western part of the country and saw for myself. Cameras really don't lie. The devastation is gut wrenching. In a town called Turbo, essentially everything was razed. Im guessing the town even shut down for a few days. All around the rift valley you see ruble, large stones beside the road [that were used to form jua kali roadblocks for purposes of oppressing travellers and extorting cash out of them], burnt up trailers and cars, and blood in a few of the areas. No doubt people got pumelled to death there. At the G7 conference, I saw other countries agonising over the rising prices in the property market, oil, inflation, and I was thinking, "That's supposed to be us." Such problems actually pale in comparison to having to wonder if you'll wake up tomorrow, or have a place to sleep. I've actually seen a woman deliver at one of these concentration camps. I've seen someone slaughtered by the roadside, just coz he happened to be from the wrong tribe. Growing up these were things I thought were the stuff TV was made of. The thing about TV is you can turn it off if it gets to be too much, or change channels. So what if it's all around you? Where does one turn? You wait to hear that relief is coming, instead you hear more militia and foreign troops have been dispatched. You hope for food, you get more blood. Music to calm the senses, you get gunshots. A blanket of peace to sleep under, wreckage. I mean people are even burning down churches! Imagine!

And through all this, one can't help but wonder, where the ***** is the president!?! At statehouse, I guess. He's supposed to stay there, isn't he? He got sworn in in record time - 30 minutes after the announcement, with only a handful of invited guests at the Statehouse [don't even get me started on how irregular that is - the National Anthem didn't even play, and the media were shut out] under the guise of "...insecurity around the country cannot allow there to be a power vacuum at the top..." One would at least expect that insecurity would be the first thing he'd try to deal with, to give people a sense of hope of a brighter tomorrow, even if false. But no. The areas most affected were not Central or Eastern, so why should he bother? The rest are opposition regions, aren't they? Let the opposition handle it. Seriously, a sitting president?!!? All this is of course made worse if you look at it through the binoculars of the US elections. The kinds of principles you need to have to even stand a chance, leave alone win. Their campaign platforms. I look at Obama and I say, that there is leadership [I am a fan of Hillary though, it's I think a personal thing, or maybe coz I've read hers and Bill's autobios so I know a bit more about her]. Granted they're 200 years old, but even then, I've seen the Declaration of Independence, and that was written in 1776. If they thought like that then, they can't have been very far off from what they are now leadership-wise, and two of their three great presidents actually led around the 20s, not recent times.

I guess what Im trynna say is our leaders scarcely have an excuse. They cannot blame the current state of affairs on our young age as a democracy. That UN director had it spot on, a peaceful state is predicated on justice. If there is no justice, there will be war, it is only a matter of time. Our time had probably come. Im just sad I was alive to see it.

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow and love isn't even in the headlines. Imagine that. :(

END

assesment of the situation in the country

This was actually written by someone I know, and I thought it was really deep:

There is no hell for a man than the stupidity and wickedness of his own kind -

Marquis Sade

If you ask me who won the December poll, I would probably give you the 'safe' answer: "I am not sure", of course, in lieu of your political affiliation. What I am sure about though, is a simple fact: Kenya deserves better political leadership than is presently available.

There is a moment in the political history of any nation of repute when there arises a burning desire for inspirational leadership. Often, such leadership defines itself in times of great strife: whether political, economic or social.

In 1994, it took the will and resolve of two men to ensure that South Africa charted the way it charts today. There were hardliners on Mandela's side who wanted to see all whites purged. Similarly, hardliners on de Klerk's side wanted nothing but the perpetuation of white supremacy. Of course, the two found middle ground in the best interest of their populace, compromised and brought forth the 'Rainbow Nation'.

The very act of compromise is what makes a man noble.

Today, Obama inspires millions of Americans (and world citizens) across all social, racial and economic spectra. He is their genuine leader. Anyone who listened to Tedd Kennedy's endorsement of Barrack surely must concur. Barrack is hailed as America's spark in the darkness of unnecessary wars, an energy crisis, a polarized social class and an economy tittering on the brink of recession. And rightly so. Obama has been able to nurture a social structure vis-à-vis housing and other amenities in his Illinois state that is unparalleled. In the process fostering a social and racial harmony only Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed about. Now, that is leadership.

If you are to make me join your cause, first make me your friend. - Abraham Lincoln

And that is the nature of inspirational leadership. That one feels closeness almost describable as friendship with a man whom you've never been in any proximity with, but the proximity and in fact concurrence of ideals and a shared vision for the future.

There is none so deaf as those who will not hear; and none so blind as those who will not see. We are what we stand for.

Decades of life on the African continent have brought to Kenya's screens death and destruction in myriads of African states. Mostly, on the basis of tribal differences. Still, Kenya veers ever closer to such a stereotypic and fatal end.

There is an uncanny, almost inane, ability of human beings to discriminate.

That people of one race, one nation and similar socio-economic structure still delve to find cause to turn on each other based on a variable that is out of the control of any human being (tribe) is simply absurd to the logical mind. Still, we live on Earth not Utopia. And thus the place of leadership is defined in any society: Bringing realization to every citizen, of the need to unite for one cause and one cause only: Prosperity; social, economic and political: building on past gains.

Show me a man who will stand up for justice and I will show you a million who yearn for it.

Presently, I believe, this country yearns for a leader who will inspire. Cut across all differences of whatever nature and collate us behind a common vision of unity, justice and good old time prosperity. A leader who will have a vision for this country that spans beyond his pot belly.

Who will rise above his own personal political ambition, and put the immediate interests of the nation before his own? Who will be our spark?

In the midst of such deep tension, neither side of the political divide seems to be intent on reconciling the population. Neither side yielding in its hard-line stance regarding the polls. Neither side rising above partisan politics. Sadly, in this country, we do not have leaders, we only have politicians.

Show me a man who will inspire, and I will show you a million who that inspiration, they desire.

Under English colonialism, Sir William Wallace, formerly a peasant farmer, inspired and rose to unite Scotland and capture the spirit of freedom for Scotland forever. At a time when Scotland lacked a King, he did not seek title. His knighthood bestowed upon him by his peers. To be revered as Scotland's ultimate Patriot for ever.

How will history judge our current generation? How will history judge our current crop of 'leaders?'

At a time when expedition of 'talks' and 'reconciliation' is pegged on our politicians' response to threats of sanctions and freezing of personal finances by the West rather than the ideal of love for one's country, our situation is but aptly described as sorry.

I did not manage for profit, I led for patriotism - John McCain