black holes and revelations

Last year at around this time, I found out I was going to New York City. I remember at that time being in like a daze of sorts, being unable to grasp the enormity of the news. I've won awards and competitions in my life before. Many, many times. (so they were almost all academic - sue me!) See I grew up blest. But this right here, this was different. It was like the culmination of a lifelong dream of mine Id had from way back when. To fly. And not just fly, but to NYC no less!

By the way, if you read this and you come from there then don't laugh, please understand where Im coming from. Here we consider 10-floor building skyscrappers. Ours is the epitome of insecurity - all one has to do to attract mugger detail is step out into the sunshine. If a road has three lanes on both sides we've outdone ourselves. It's virtually impossible to make jaywalking a jailable offence, coz then we'd need like twice as many cops as there are pedestrians - its like a way of life here to cross the road wherever. Traffic lights have only recently (3 months ago) been elevated above eye level, but even then it's still not unheard of for them to blink both red and green at the same time, or for two lights to blink green on opposing streets. Even something as simple as calling from a public payphone is an exercise in futility. The city (and I use that word loosely) is so hapharzadly planned that you'll get lost with a map, a guide and a gps device with two large blips, one for where you are and the other for where you want to go. But don't get me wrong, I dont not appreciate this place. I count my blessings everyday. Anyways, NYC. It meant we were going to need to work round the clock to come up with a world class presentation, and that for that reason I was gonna fail my exams (reading wasn't exactly priority at the time), but who cared - we were going to NEW YORK CITY!!!

So, three months flew by in a breeze, we managed to scrape together like 30K (A week's expenditure, mind you), and a truckload of work and a few sleepless nights later, we off to the city that never sleeps (turns out the sleepless nights were not wasted - they were actually good training :). And the rest, as they say, is history, the stuff of legend.

Ten months down the line and I can still see every second of that week as though it happened yesterday. The subways, the fast food and coffee, McDonald's, Broadway, Park Avenue, Fifth Avenue and the Trump Tower, The GAP, Dolce and Gabbana, Chanel, the NY Public Library, the fluid public system, Times Square, and the Manhattan skyline from the top of the Hilton. They easily count as the best days of my life so far. And I swore to myself I would go back, even if its the last thing I do. I still want to. Me by the way I actually want to move there. There's something alluring about a system that works, and things happen the way they should. You work hard you get rewarded, you don't you end up on the streets. Coz I know I can work hard. I can do it, but Im one of those idealistic people with their heads in the clouds. And where I am right now, those clouds are a little beyond my reach.

But Im a little wiser now, and Im learning that happiness isn't getting what you want, its wanting what you've got. So even if I never do get to go back, I hope it won't change me. And I hope I always know who I am.

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I am steady and I'm stable
I'm young but I am able
I, am Alividza's grandson,
The spitting image of my father,
When the day is done my mama's still my biggest fan.
Sometimes, I'm clueless and I'm clumsy,
But I've got friends that love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me, and that's who I am.

END