between order and randomness: letter to my sixteen-year-old self

There's a thing going round (apparently for a while) where you imagine if you could write a letter to yourself when you were 16 what you'd say. So I've finally been tagged (thanks, I guess)

Dear me,

Hi. So I sat down to write this letter and there was so much to say, coz a lot has happened since I was you still dreaming of Californication, and I'm you so I really do know it all. Where to start... Your self esteem. Don't fret so much because of your weight, or your complexion. There's worse things in the world than being ostracized because of how you look, and people grow out of these things. I've actually seen your autograph book at the end of fourth, and what people wrote in it, so yes, you did become quite popular. And yes, the weight's gonna drop off (but probably come back).

Don't hate your father so much. He really only wants what's best for you, even though I must agree his methods could you use a little work. But you know the way I (I guess you as well) believe the end justifies the means, ya, you're gonna turn out really great. And it's all gonna be because of him. He sees potential in you to go places he himself couldn't go because of limitations occasioned by his circumstances. Circumstances he's going to work till he drops to ensure you never encounter. So cut him some slack sometimes. I know everyone says their father is the best, so now imagine what it's like hearing other people say that about your dad. I have. Ya, he's a pretty amazing person.

Stop giving your mother such a hard time. Listen when she tells you stuff. You really don't want to see her cry! Believe me when I tell you, it's never gonna go away. You two are going to become extremely close later, and it'll be immensely better if you don't have a history of violence looming in the background to regret. 

When kina Victor come up to you and tell you they're joining the choir, tag along. You probably won't make it past auditions, but at least you'll get to be an extra or something. Either way, you'll learn about girls a lot faster that way. 

And stop telling yourself all the time how unimaginative you are. I've been to the future, and I'm telling you right now, you're going to speak it into fruition. All that talent you have, the drawing and sketching, it could turn out for good, but the way you're going you'll kill it before you're 19. I know I did. Don't take your flair for computers and languages for granted. In fact, develop them. Work on them everyday. You don't want to be the guy 10 years later hearing stories about how so and so is doing so well at software, doing the very thing you got him started on. If there's only one thing you take away from this letter, I hope you learn to live by the hustle. Right now it means nothing to you, but start thinking about things you can do for yourself, to develop yourself. Hustle doesn't have to arise out of need - your parents are still there and will probably be there as long as you'll need to depend on them so you'll never really have that - sometimes it could just be your intiative. It's one thing I never got to learn, and now I'm just starting to try and play catch-up while everyone else I know is miles ahead.

Don't ignore other people. You can't make it on your own. Ask for help when you need it. Get to know the people around you; you never know when you'll need them.

Speaking from the future, with the benefit of hindsight, I'll tell you, don't overthink stuff. If you feel your heart leading you somewhere, follow it. You've got good judgement, and really good instincts. Listen to them. They'll take you places. We'll probably never meet just you and me, but you'll turn out just fine. And when you make mistakes, as you definitely will, remember, after all, tomorrow is another day...

Yours,

Me

PS: You and that Gladys are not going to happen. In fact, she moves to a different country. Move on.

PPS: Yes, you'll finally get to go to NYC. It's gonna be everything you dreamed it would be, and you're gonna fall in love with it for real.


Tagged = gladysmoore, bryo, alex.

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