all these things i've done

I'm rude, so I've been told. I don't answer people in a polite manner. I speak without thinking, and end up hurting people's feelings. Ok, I'll bite. Am I really? When someone sees you busy eating lunch, then they ask you what you're doing, are you at fault if you tell them you're practising crop rotation? If you were clearly waiting for a bus at the bus stop - one of the few that's actually labelled, mark you - and then you were asked what you were waiting for, would it be impolite to answer "The turn of the century."? I ask

Apparently Im also selfish. I think only of myself, and no one else. Everything I do I do with myself in mind. I cannot undertake a kind deed that will not at least benefit me in some way. Well who isn't? The English have a word - altruism. It means "showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others." Doing good just because it is, without expecting anything in return. They also have a phrase: white unicorn, being "a rare mystical creature only rumored to exist but highly sought after," or "the perfect person, your dream person." The same English have another word: utopia. It means "an ideal and perfect place or state where everyone lives in harmony and everything is for the best." Could it be that the perfection and elusiveness of altruists, white unicorns and the place called utopia are somehow connected? Hmmmm...

I am not christian. I listen to rock music. I associate with non-saved people. I do not read my bible everyday. I do not attend bible studies and/or other christian events. I don't even go to church where I stay. Is my understanding of christianity at fault? coz I believe it should be a way of life. It should not really be something you explicitly say. It's the sum total of everything you do, and everything you omit to do. So I don't preach, or witness or sing and dance. First I have two left feet [why BTW do we say left and not right?], physically can't dance :). Birds have gone deaf listening to my voice singing, so that's kinda out as well. I find the bible is best read when you're not discussing it with folks. "And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all," goes the Bible. I hate the [pretentious] holier-than-thou attitude exhibited by most of the members of so called C.U's, and it is that, rather than the christianity itself, that I try to dissociate myself from. But apparently to those who would judge me, the two are one and the same.

It's said that there are many paths to success, but the quickest way to failure is to try to please everyone. It would seem that I can't win them all. Mother Teresa once wrote a poem [actually she wrote many, but this one kinda stands out]:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered,
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies,
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you,
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight,
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous,
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow,
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough,
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

How true.

END