Ever known someone in your life you thought was so stupid, so short sighted, so unbalanced, so emotionally needy and yet devious and conniving and a petty thief, so insecure about themselves, and yet you couldn't just slam the door in that person's face because, well, they were like family or you loved them or maybe they were your responsibility? Ever tried to change them, to make them a better person, but found that everything you tried was an exercise in futility coz they kept slipping right back? Ever wanted to countless times just wash your hands and say to hell, but couldn't coz it's the kind of problem that just doesn't go away? What do you do? Im in that situation. It's not easy being the one someone wants to be like. It's even harder if your life seems like it's one of those charmed ones and theirs is... er... not. Sometimes I just wanna pick up and leave and move to Australia or somewhere so I won't have to hear things like these, maybe even turn back time and be born a different person, and then I sit and and think why should I be the one that moves? Im not the one with the problem. Why can't it be these other people? And so in my big-headedness I decide the world is big enough for both of us and I stay and eventually the stresses just keep piling up till Im not supposed to be able to ignore them any more. Trouble is, Im the kind of guy who can ignore them. Yes they'll bother me for two minutes, but it's not that hard for me to shelve these kinds of problems. I compartmentalize a lot, I've discovered, so unless it's a physical ill you can almost never tell when Im going through stuff. Except of course if you're the cause... :) And try as I might, I can't help but think about tomorrow when there won't be places for me to escalate these issues, when the buck will stop with me, and I won't have a place to turn to or escape.
Im trying to see life through the eyes of an emo kid who has long hair covering his eyes and is extremely slender and puts on those jeans that are torn at the knees and dons dark eye shadow and listens to angry goth rock and cuts his wrists when he's agitated coz the world doesn't seem to stop when he's in trouble and Im just not seeing it. Leukemia, diabetes, lupus, HIV even, those are diseases. What the hell is this im hearing people call ADD?? Transference?? Temporary insanity? Who came up with concepts like that, and gave theses damaged kids some excuse to hide their stupidity behind?? You know Steve Harvey once said him he doesn't see shrinks and sh*t like that. Him when he gets mental problems and psychological ones he keeps them bottled up inside till they manifest themselves as physical symptoms, then he goes and sees a real doctor. Couldn't have said it better myself. How are human psyches so different? Aren't we made from the same base material? Granted all our behaviours should not totally be the same coz our minds are individual, but I think i draw the line at imaginary friends!! What the hell are those???
Anyway, maybe Im just a pragmatist, and there are actually other people out there who can understand what psychological problems are. Me I just see them as a string of psychobabble created by those med-school dropouts who were too scared to see blood but still wanted the title "Doctor". I guess I just don't see emotional neediness as so much a problem than a self-imposed condition. If it's in the mind then the cure needs to come from the mind. There's no such thing as I can't handle it in my books. Or I-don't-know-what-my-problem-is-so-im-gonna-seek-help. wtf!!! Unless you're talking about a mind reader, I really don't see how someone else is gonna help you resolve issues that are in your mind! Maybe psychopath is too strong a word, but what! that was the closest song I know to what I wanted to say (it's Macy Gray). Plus apparently the further a topic is from actual content the more artistic it's considered to be so move over Langstone Hughes - here comes me(!) :) Now I have a new-found respect for parents, coz I swear if I had a kid who turned out to be like that...
{{{Whew! I just had my first rant on the blog. Feels oddly satisfying! Note-to-self: Should do this more often.}}}
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新NISAと従来のNISAの違いを徹底解説
3 months ago
3 comments:
I can't even begin to guess at the thousands of children around the world who suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder, now more commonly known as Attention Deficit Hypertensive Disorder, but as the mother of two children who have developmental delays the conditions themselves are familiar to me. Both of my children exhibit a nearly 50% delay in their development, this affects their language skills and fine motor functions. Additionally, they are so active that you can't keep them still long enough to be sure that what is being said, that what is trying to be taught to them, is getting through. And while they are receiving services that might help rectify these delays, there are no guarantees.
This a subject I very rarely speak of with those beyond my intimate circle of friends and relatives for the simple fact that most often people judge too harshly, looking to blame society at large for they way some people turn out to be, looking to blame the parents of these children who have 'psychological' and not 'neurological' issues. Truth of the matter is that most of the people who are diagnosed with behavioral problems have some sort of neurological issue. Synapses that misfire and send impulses that go astray, chemicals causing uncommon behaviors. But there is no easy answer as to what causes people to be 'different', my theory is that over the last two hundred years we've so poisoned our bodies that each new generation born is a shade darker of our former glory.
I will never fall into the trap of medicating my children to make them more docile, but that leaves the questions... Will therapy be enough to help them learn how to deal with their issues? Will they have the wherewithal to learn how to manage their diabilities and lead normal lives by learning to work around them, perhaps even move past them? I don't know, but after waiting two and 1/2 years byeond the norm to hear my son string a sentence together all I can do is say blessed be for the phobia it took to drive someone into being a psychologist rather than an MD.
Wow! Ok,first off, Im not one of those guys who judges too harshly. Now you've gone and made me feel all guilty for trashing psychologists. See yours is a different problem. It actually sounds genuine. The boy Im talking about is just a chronic thief and liar, always blaming his psyche when you finally corner him, writing 60-page letters about how he's gonna change and all, and then reverting right back to the same old ways, most recently saying he was now gonna seek counselling coz he doesn't understand what's wrong with him. My reasoning was this, stealing, maybe impulsive, but if he goes ahead and lies about it and creates iron-clad alibis so that when you finally get the truth you can see it was meticulously planned, that can't be something he can't control. So you see that's the other side of ADD, people who act up, not coz of neural misfires or anything, just to get attention (remember I also said he was a bit needy). He's supposed to have outgrown all that but now im starting to think it's never gonna happen, coz he must be past 22.
But like I said, I have new-found respect for parents and parenting. Coz of people like his parents, and also people like you.
You'd be surprised how intelligent people with behavioral problems and early childhood developmental delays are. I recommend that you read The Einstein Syndrome: Children Who Talk Late by Thomas Sowell.
You also have to realize that there may be something genuinely wrong with your cousin. I know you don't believe in psychological disorders but he could be a cleptomaniac. He's family, as you say, but that doesn't make him your personal responsibility. However, if he is affecting your life with his behavior, it might be in your best interests to support his going to therapy. There aren't any guarantees when it comes to therapy, but a show of help and support from his family might go a long way to changing his self-defeatist ways.
Sorry if I made you feel guilty, but you got my hackles up a bit. Just remember: Just because it's not your problem doesn't mean it's not a real problem to someone somewhere.
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