how to save a life

So yesterday was my first time to hear that song called How to save a life by The Fray. And DAMN! I was watching the third One Tree Hill and one of the episodes [the one just after Jimmy shot Peyton in the leg] had the song in it, and it was at a really apt place [the first time Pete - leadsinger for Fallout Boy - came over to Peyton's to see her, I guess to tell her he likes her. And she was limping and all and he was in this classic Escalade stretch limo and it was all so wow]. See songs like these are the reason I fell in love with rock in the first place. That song is just deep. I dont even know how to describe how I felt when I heard it. All I can say is I've felt like that like only five times in the past - first with Arms wide open-Creed, then Flying high-Jem[from The O.C], then Mixtape-Butch Walker[previous season of One Tree Hill, then Because of you-Kelly Clarkson, most recently Saving me-Nickelback. How to save a life is just one of those songs one can't ever get enough of. It's definitely going down into my all-time list. I cannot wait to get the whole song, tho I know it's gonna be a while. Me = totally overwhelmed.

I should probably keep annals of said all-time list so's I dont forget where it is Im coming from 60 years from now when Im old and withered.

Arms wide open - Creed
Because of you - Kelly Clarkson
Away from the sun - 3 Doors Down
Flying high - Jem
Mixtape - Butch Walker
My happy ending - Avril Lavigne
Hands - Jewel
Saving me - Nickelback
How you remind me - Nickelback
Zoe Jane - Staind
Collide - Howie Day
Thank you for loving me - Bon Jovi
To the ends of the earth - Hillsong
Anywhere - Evanescence
Damaged - TLC
Wherever you will go - The Calling
You're beautiful - James Blunt
Heart of the matter - India Arie
Life goes on - Tupac
The voice of truth - Casting Crowns
He's my son - Mark Schulz
Christmas shoes - New Song

...and now...
How to save a life - The Fray

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house hopping

Here I come again with another one of those tales about parastatal inefficiencies in my country. As with the last time, this was in my uni. Since I'm doing professional exams in a month's time and I have no clue what the course is about, I decided this time that when we close for long hols I wouldn't go home and would instead stay on in school to at least keep the mood going. This way, even if I myself dont per se read anything, maybe some of what my industrious friends read will rub off on me and I won't be totally green, thought I.

The groups that are currently in session are actually fewer than the school was made to handle, so it would appear that we are actually running at below capacity. So si I thought I would just show up, say I want a room, get charged to heaven and back but get the room anyhow. Boy was I wrong! I did show up, I did say I wanted a room, I did get charged to heaven and back [this government, all incompetencies aside, has never been known to shy away from a chance to make a quick buck, which quick buck is of course never ploughed back into bettering the infrastructure - but that is another story for another day], but did I get the room? Of course not. "Why allocate people rooms that are still empty just because those people have applied and paid for the rooms?" thinks our administration. "It would be so much more fun if they were made to sweat for a week or two, so here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna tell that boy to come tomorrow, and to write an essay explaining how he thinks loud music in matatus affects the current status of greenhouse gases." [or some such other tosh, anything to make sure nothing happens on time like it's supposed to.]

And so here I am. In between residences. I have survived thus far by visiting different friends and/or relatives in a round so that none of them feels as though I am infringing, meanwhile conducting research on my upcoming essay on presentation of which I expect I shall be given a room that shall just happen to not have a door, so I can give them another week to repair it and bring it up to standards. I am well aware that this is what I shall be told when I raise a complaint, "You see kijana, this system of ours - [they recently got computerised] - once it has allocated you a room it's impossible to change that allocation for another without it appearing as though you have two rooms. So please just allow us to refurbish this one for you. We apologise for inconveniences" with a smiling face. And so I find myself in the run-up to exams, yet again, house hopping and not spending any considerable amount of time studying for them. This one looks like it'll have to be on me and God. But, He has seen me through before, and He never changes so...

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a trip i took

So si we've now officially closed school, and this being the end of a year [also one of those holidays that last till you drop - five months no less!] we decide, some friends of mine and I, that we are going out with a bang. So what do we do, we step up some cash each, two of us get cars from their parents and off we go to Naivasha to see stuff and to hog. The drive over was pretty uneventful, we just talked and the two cars raced kidogo, we stopped over at the Rift Valley to enjoy the scenery [of course no trip is complete unless something important has been forgotten, and in our case it was film for the camera, so we couldnt take any pictures. Ok, we could, just mental ones though]. Then we got there at 5[!-we still havent had lunch by the way - chicks and their rollers and showers we ended up leaving at four rather than at twelve] so we straight away head off to the restaurant. Roast meat, nothing but roast meat. And it was survival for the fittest. Have you ever seen three kilos disappear in ten minutes? I hadnt before, now I have. And then there was more meat, roast and fried. Twas a really gr8 lunch. Between the eight of us we ate like seven kilos, and sodas on top. Then after that we decided to go see the lake, we went and found there apparently is an entrance fee, so we told we'd be right back, of course we weren't right back. So now on our way from the lake [it was about 30kms off town] mayhem kicked in. We noticed in our car that the battery light was one, the one that usually indicates that the  battery is draining but not getting recharged. At the time we dint think anythign of it. We just went right on to Lord Delamere's estate, and I think at the time we ere the only ones. By now it's 6.30 going on seven and already dark. When we were through with the estate, now thinking ati we head back to Nairobi, the radio in the car went off. Then the lights went off. Then the car itself. By now it's of course dark, really dark. What to do? New town, dont know anyone, cant see anything, obviously dint do Power Mechanics in high school. Anyways, we drove back into town following the other car in darkness and found a petrol station then parked in it. Then started the search for a mechaninc. Luckily there was one of those 911-like services in Naivasha that came to our assistance, and it turned out the problem was a missing belt that must have fallen out, hence the battery wasnt recharging. They start looking and everywhere is closed. Naivasha is I think a ghost town or somethign, it was only 7.45 on a Friday eve and even the bars were closed! So six hours later, the finally found a belt that could almost fit our car, and when I say almost I mean they had to take out AC for it to fit. At this point we really dint care, we just wanted to come back home coz no one had any plans of swatching over there. After all was said and done, were down a further 2K for all the repairs. Thank God for contingency money, Im just thinking what would have been had we all had exact on us :( Now on our way back [it's midnight by the way] it starts raining, and Limuru goes down to 2 degrees sometimes. So there is fog! Real fog, as in now you're on the road now the road has turned right and you havent so you're in the bushes. It was terror! But we made it finally, and at 1.30 in town we decided since we no longer had anything to lose [those who hadnt to ld their parents where the cars were going thinking we'd be back in time and they wouldnt have to had been forced to during the Naivasha debacle so the worst was over] we went for pizzas, then communed and reminisced the day that had been, went to some other restaurant for burgers and finally at 2.30 went back to school to sleep. Those hours between 7.00 and 11.30 when the cars were being repaired were the longest in my recent past, but they made the night all the more interesting, and like they say, what won't kill you can only make you stronger

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a comp all my own

So I finally have a machine of my own in school. It has been a long journey to this point, full of ups and downs, but I learn that as they say, good things come to those who wait. From where Im sitting, it dont come no better than this [if you know what Im saying]. Of course, as Murphy would have it, every silver lining has a cloud lagging somewhere behind, and mine is that the machine comes at a time when I cant really make any productive use of it. This semester has just been a conspiracy by the lecturers against free time [maybe they finally heard about that whole idle minds and devil's workshops thing], so they have all given like six assingments and five CATs, and all of them almost back-to-back. Obviously my main reasons for wanting the comp in school had nothing to do with research or any of that office productivity crap so I get presented with a classic catch-22: to read, or watch movies and seasons [naturally now that I dont have any free time to spare the seasons come in droves]. I'd really like to say that's a no-brainer, but the days of just showing up in class and still passing appear to be fast disppearing behind me, if my recent CAT results are anything to go by. And then we are now moving to the third year, which is where everything we do now goes towards getting us an average for our degrees.

Our local phone network has also recently launched GPRS, which for those of us who are technology savvy, is a really efficient way to surf the web on phones that are GPRS-enabled. It's made in such a way that unlike WAP, you're paying only for the amount of data sent between you and the server, not for the amount of time you spend online. And webpages can get small, pretty small. So then you can spend a whole hour surfing and end up having been charged only 4 shillings. I know - it's cheaper than even cyber cafes! The moment I learn how to use my phone as a modem for my comp I'll be so set. ISPs and their exorbitant charges can the go straight to hell :)

Oops! There goes my consience, reminding me what the time is again, and that I have a really complex paper tomorrow that I havent read for [don't you hate when that happens?]...

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letter of appreciation

Came across this letter in a rudge book and it totally cracked me up. :D

Dear Sir,

I am sure the Homestead Retirement Home has thanked you and the many others who made gifts to the home that have brought pleasure and comfort to us residents. But I wish to thank you personally fro the bottom of my heart because I am the recepient of the little portable radio which you gave me. I listen to it constantly when I am awake.

It has been so much company for me. I have wanted a radio of my very own ever since I came to the home to live. We have nice accomodations here and they take very good care of us. There are two of us in each room. My roommate is Martha Nelson. She is 87 and I am 83.

Martha has had a radio of her own ever since she came here ten years ago. She kept it so low I could never hear the programs. When I would ask her to turn it up so I could hear the programs too she wouldnt do it. Bless her, she is a sweet old soul and I suppose she just cant help being that way.

Last week she dropped her radio and it broke into may pieces and cannot be repaired. Last night I was listening to the early evening services of the First Methodist Church and those beautiful old hymns I love so much. Martha asked me to turn the radio up higher so she could hear it too, so naturally I told her to go f*ck herself.

Again, thank you.

I am,
Dorothy Murdock

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about the movies

Mother Earth has since let up a little on the weather aspect and these days it's bright and shine all day long. But of course, people being people, we are now crying foul that there is no rain. Can never satisfy them, can you?

Anyways, I've watched quite a few movies since I landed here [landed not arrived, BTW], and none of them have turned out to be disappointments. It's like fate is making up for all the boredom I had to perservere when I was on hols. There was Superman Returns - which totally rocked coz Lois has an actual husband on earth but it was so obvious she still had a thing for Clark, and - get this - they have a son [who Lois thinks is Richard's] who actually happens to be impervious to Kryptonite. Cant wait for the next installment - where he'll probably have grown up and taken over where his dad left off [but wait, Superman cant die, can he?], although knowing Hollywood, they'll probably develop a vulnerability for him, maybe even ultraviolet rays just to spice things up, sometimes they suck. Just sometimes.

Then there was X-Men The Last Stand. This one I liked coz Wolverine and Jean finally did something about their feelings [although Cyclops had to die for it to happen, I totally dont mind], but in the end she died. I dont see another sequel for this one. But who knows?

Then Underworld Evolution. THis movie has like six people in it's cast list, everyone - or should I say everything - else being a werewolf, ugly apparition or just plain ugly. But it was thorough. Not just coz Kate Beckinsale is drop-dead gorgeous [where has she been all my life? :)] and moves at the speed of light, but it actually has an emotional side. And Scott Speedman [he of Felicity fame] isn't that bad either, just could have been better. The others weren't so major - Hitch, Man on Fire, V for Vendetta [actually this one was classic - I just dint watch it big screen] and Uptown Girls. Still arranging for M:I-3, tho all sources indicate it's major boredom. But I wanna discover just how boring all by myself. If I have to pay for it and get unjazzed I know I'll probly end up crying foul or raw deal but that matters not for now. We never learn, do we?

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school so far...

I've been in school for just about a month now, and I can say with all the confidence possible that school so far rocks! First of all, the CATs and gradable assignments have not yet started and they are not even on the horizon, I went and got my transcript for the last semester [the one I was dreading - got some outside help on that :)] and wonder of wonders I actually got a B[!], I have since run into three programs I've always wanted to watch - Smallville season 4, Lost and Smallville season 5, though I havent yet watched them - I intend to make meself copies soon so they are immortalized, and of course who could forget, I've eaten fries so many times I think my heart has a coating three inches thick [this stuff tends to go where it's least wanted]

The temperature these days however comes really close to zero at times so most of us,including yours truly, have come down with the cold. It's a really inconveniencing disease to have, coz just at the time when you've forgotten your handkerchief your nose starts to run! It's almost as though Murphy's Law were true, and it totally blows! But all in all, this looks like it's gonna be a really good semester. Oh, and also, I havent made any enemies yet, in fact, friends. Im really proud of myself.

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the road once taken

Im a reader of poetry, of sorts. I love to read poetry, but I only do so when there is absolutely nothing else to do, and also when the author is someone Ive heard of before and who's not Shakespeare [I think he's overrated]. So I've read Robert Frost's "The road not taken", and in it he took the path less beaten, and hoped he wouldnt live to regret it. Well, recently when I got to my own fork, I have taken the path well trodden, the one Ive been on countless times before, the one called school. Yes, hard as it is to believe, school is now in session again, and I find Im not very amused with the status quo. This from someone who just a few days ago would have given his right arm to be back in school - the grass truly is greener on the other side I say.

Anyways, other than school being open resulsts for the last semester are out. That was the sem when I decided To hell with uni stuff and concentrated solely on CPA exams, which I myt add I passed with flying colors [Ok, I barely made the passmark but who cares, I passed, didnt I?]. So one can only guess how not dying I am to see my transcript for last sem. The first thing I did when I got to school this time ws to sit down and tell myself I am going to actually make an effort to read this time round in order to make up for any losses,and I know there'll be plenty of those. Im still trynna muster up the courage to go get that piece of paper. One of the best things about uni is that it's totally up to you whether or not you pick them. But I find leaving it in the admin block doesnt change the D's to A's so I'll go pick it one of these fine days.

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my, my how time flies

Damn how it does. Has it been a whole month already? It was a hesht that one. During that month Ive done a lot:

I went back to school for exams - those professional papers we are forced to do because of peer pressure [ts all about fitting in with the in crowd :)]. Actually its a little more than just fitting in. These days if you dont do them you really dont get employed, or get a job as a front-office teller. So damned if you do damned if you dont. Anyways, this occupied a substantial part of the month - the whole of it to be precise. But I have gone thro it unscathed, and mercifully I am still sane.

I had never slept outside the confines of the watchful eyes of my parents [or a respective aunt/uncle], now not only have I, but Ive also slept on a wooden chair - twice, in a club - once, sat on a bench reading all thro the night - once. I swear the worst situation to be in is be in a school where you dont attend and so not have any friends around to accomodate you. The day I slept in a club I dint really sleep - I bot coffee, enough, and I blinked and it was 5AM. My nights were full of drama. But they once told me what wont kill you can only make you stronger, and now I daresay I think I can live on the streets, if only for one week, OK, I lie, ONE DAY, no more than that, otherwise Ill freeze to death, or just die of despair.

Such are the conditions under which I did the exams, so if I get less than distinctions, you'll know why and no one is gonna point fingers.Anyway, now Im back, in my room, with a bed, a hot meal every day and loving every minute of it. These small things we take for granted, wait till they're no longer there.
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the big what if's

These 2 months have been so full of long weekends. It's like every holiday or non-working day fell on a Friday or a Monday. And these short stints at an actual holiday have opened my eyes as to just how much I dislike my job and the environment and conditions under which I work. Not the people, my workmates are nice, and they are doing their best to cope under the circumstances [targets that are too high to meet, lorries backfiring every day - we transport fertilizer to farmers, rain and impassable roads, farmers complaining here even when the fault is clearly not with our office et al], so I like my workmates. The only thing that keeps me going is that in two months school will be open again and it will be back to basking in the sun all day and surfing for free and meeting friends. So for now I have a better tomorrow to look forward to. For now.

But lately Ive gotten to thinking, what happens when there is no brighter future? What would I do if this was it, if this was my calling in life, my niche, my job? What if I was one of my workmates, [you know, 20 years and Im still gonna be at the exact same place]? These things just cant seem to get out of my mind. And now Im continually praying that when Im done with school, I at least get a job I actually like. To me the hours wont really matter [coz I dont have much of a social life anyways so even if I had the time...], and the pay matters yes but not as much as job satisfaction. I just want a job I look forward to on Mondays, a job Im not in a hurry to get away from at 4 on Friday, and most importantly, a job where I work in the back-ends with no nosy bosses looking over my shoulders asking why the email Im sending on company time is not work-related [coz there's gonna be alot of those :)]. I want a job where my performance record will be let to speak for itself, where they wont want to know why I was six minutes late in the morning so long as I meet all my deadlines, and they wont be asking me to follow their methods if I have my own that arent illegal but get things done. If there will be no specific dress-code at the company it will be nice too - I hate dressing up. I dont want to be in the spotlight or dealing direcly with people, unless Im the CEO [in which case all my misgivings about whatever job it will be become moot]. Also one that involves a lot of travelling. And if it's at one of them Fortune 500 firms, I wont complain. If the company happens to be Google then "let Thy will be done on earth.." I havent narrowed it down to anything specific yet, but this much I know - I do NOT want to be a doctor. Or a teacher or an insurance salesman!

If only wishes were horses and beggars actually rode...
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